How To Cope With Relationship Anxiety?

Reviewed by Dawn Brown, LPC, NCC

Published 06/24/2022

How To Cope With Relationship Anxiety?

There are different types of anxiety and each with its own circumstances. Relationship anxiety is a common kind of anxiety considered as one of the existing relationship issues. Several individuals experience it at the early stage of their relationships before fully understanding their partner's interests. Before they have a conviction, they really need a relationship (new relationship anxiety).

In other words, relationship anxiety can be characterized by an obsessive inquisitiveness about why your partner is with you in the relationship or the time the relationship will unavoidably end. You must know that people experience relationship anxiety differently; however, it is generally about inordinately getting worried about your romantic relationship. It involves developing a sense of insecurity and doubt in your relationship (even if things are still obviously normal in the relationship).

To be frank, relationship anxiety, if not appropriately dealt with, can affect your relationship by destroying your romance right from within. After some time, anxiety in relationships can result in a lack of motivation, emotional exhaustion/fatigue, emotional stress, physical concerns such as stomach upset, and behaviors that can lead to distress for both of you.

What Is Anxiety?

Anxiety is a common emotional challenge experienced globally. It can result in a disorder when it becomes severe. Mental Health America shows that your relationship with others and your work can interfere with your day-to-day activities. The feeling of anxiety can cause dread, uneasiness, and distress. To find out if you have anxiety, take a quick test at: Other common symptoms of anxiety include irritation, feelings of panic, fast heart rate, fast breathing, tension, nervousness, restlessness, inordinate worry, sleeping problems, difficulty concentration, increased perspiration, obsession with specific ideas, and so on.

What Is Relationship Anxiety?

Anxiety disorders are classified into different forms. Some related ones to relationship anxiety are generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and social anxiety disorder. Apparently, relationship anxiety and GAD have similar symptoms such as fatigue, depression, insomnia, restlessness, tense muscle, irritability, and indecision. However, the symptoms of relationship anxiety emerge under the umbrella of partnership.

Furthermore, relationship anxiety may be indicated by different reactions. It is claimed that a good indication of relationship anxiety is when you try to pretend that all is well just because you're scared of having a serious conversation with someone you're dating. Also, it can develop when you become very anxious at any time your partner is not with you. This indicator may be prompted by your own imagination that your partner is cheating on you. Doubting the faithfulness of your partner in the relationship without proof is one sign you have relationship anxiety.

Moreover, relationship anxiety can also emerge from the false conviction you have that there is a possibility that your partner will leave you. You are also open to relationship anxiety if your partner is the only one that can talk you out of your emotional challenges.

Lastly, active avoidance of committed relationships or dating may also be an indicator of relationship anxiety.

What Are The Potential Signs Of Relationship Anxiety?

You may see potential signs that may show that dating anxiety is around the corner, or it's already affecting you. You may feel insecure at the early stage of your relationship and having problems forming deep intimacy and commitment with your partner. This may get better as you move on in the relationship or get worse. The following are some signs of anxiety in a relationship:

  • Questioning Your Importance

    The moment you begin to wonder if you matter to your partner, it implies that anxiety is setting in. It implies that your level of security in the relationship is low. There are things you may begin to worry about. These may include your partner may not help if challenges rise up, your partner's feelings may be different from yours, your partner does not miss you when you're not around, and your is a sycophant (friend for benefit).
  • Worrying That Your Partner Will Break Up With You

    When anxiety begins to set in, you will begin to worry about losing the good things you enjoy in the relationship, such as security, happiness, and love. The thought of losing all these good things makes you ignore what bothers you about your partner, worrying your partner may be angry at you even when you did nothing wrong, avoid bringing up and dealing with some issues in the relationship.
  • Worrying About The Relationship

    You are expected to enjoy relationships and not to worry about it. Anxiety and relationships are two different words that shouldn't be in the same box. The moment you begin to miss out on the good times because you are worried about your relationship, it becomes a potential sign of relationship anxiety.
  • Doubting Your Compatibility

    There may be different reasons why people go into relationships. Over time, things may look different, making you begin to think that both of you are not truly compatible. The thought of this is a sign of anxiety.

  • Overthinking Your Partner's Action And Words

    Reading into your partner's actions and words is a potential sign of anxiety in the relationship. You may begin to misinterpret some things, such as they don't like leaning on you or holding hands. This may pose an unnecessary threat to mental stability in the relationship.
  • Unhealthy Behaviors

    Unhealthy behaviors can imply that you are anxious in the relationship. These behaviors can sabotage your relationship if care is not taken. Some of these unhealthy behaviors may include consistent arguments, avoiding your partner when you are feeling distressed, lack of respect for boundaries, and so on.

What Are The Causes Of Relationship Anxiety?

One of the important steps to take to deal with any mental health challenge is identifying the source of the challenge. Sometimes, identifying the exact cause of your anxiety can require self-examination and time— this is because there may be more than one cause. You may even need professional assistance to even identify potential causes when you find it difficult to so on your own. Therefore, the following are some of the causes of relationship anxiety:

  • Low Self-Esteem

    When it comes to relationships, the level of your self-esteem matters a lot. It influences how you react to situations. Low self-esteem can make you doubt your partner's feelings because you do not trust yourself either— you may feel that your partner is disappointed in you if you feel the same way about yourself. Having low self-esteem may cause relationship anxiety and insecurity.
  • An Unfaithful Case In The Past

    One of the causes of relationship anxiety is a breach of trust in the past. This can influence your feelings in the present. When your partner was unfaithful to you, a case in the past can make you anxious and fail to trust in the relationship. Other past experiences that can cause relationship anxiety may also include when your ex unexpectedly dumped you, when your partner lied to you about the way they feel for you, or if you were misled by your partner about the nature of the relationship.
  • Diagnosable Disorders

    Other types of anxiety disorders can cause relationship anxiety. If you're previously diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder, it can lead to anxiety in the relationship. This is because it is associated with your fear of being judged by others or frequently worried about what people around you think about you. All these can ignite the fire of anxiety in the relationship.
  • Uncertainty About The Future

    Worry may be an obvious indicator of relationship anxiety. When you constantly feel worried about where the relationship may be heading— if both of you will get married or if you two are compatible/ your individual's life choices, which may be different. All these can lead to anxiety in the relationship.
  • Insecure Attachment Styles

    Attachment style has a lot to do with how well you can handle your relationship. Parents can help develop secure attachment styles in their children at the early stage of their life by meeting virtually all their needs concerning support, care, or love. When they turn adults, it will greatly impact their relationships. However, if things may happen, the other way round, if needed, love and support are not properly offered.
    • Insecure attachment styles may cause relationship anxiety by making you anxious about your commitment or intimacy level in the relationship. They can also make you worried that your partner may unexpectedly leave you.
  • The Thought Of A Perfect Match

    It is always good to constantly remind yourself that no one is perfect. Getting worried that another person apart from your partner out there that is perfect for you may be very dangerous. Expecting everything to be perfect, ideal, and rational in your relationship can lead to worries, which may cause anxiety in the relationship
  • Abusive Language Or Behavior

    Your mental health can easily be negatively affected when abused emotionally, physically, or verbally. It can also cause anxiety. Any type of abuse should be seriously handled and urgently seek help as it can lead to other things aside from just being anxious.

How Can You Cope With Relationship Anxiety?

Although it may require some effort and time, you can cope with relationship anxiety. You must deal with it early in time for a healthy relationship. The following are some of the ways you cope with it to feel extremely loved and secure in the relationship:

  • Engaging In Healthy Exercise

    Exercise has a special way of positively influencing your mental health, especially anxiety, stress, and depression. Being in a relationship with someone who has depression and anxiety can be frustrating, but good exercise can reduce their levels. Exercise such as yoga can lower the levels of cortisol, which is a stress hormone. Engaging in yoga may enhance your mood. The combination of exercise with other coping strategies will ensure a healthy lifestyle.
  • Improving Your Communication Skills

    Lack of good communication can sabotage a relationship. Communication is an essential part when two people are together. Be open to your partner (express your mind freely. There is a need for serious conversation)— this will make the relationship stronger. If you express yourself ambiguously, your partner may be misinterpreted, especially when dating someone with anxiety. Avoid sounding dominating or sending a text with imperative statements.
  • Managing Your Feelings

    Acting on your feeling can be detrimental. There are impulsive actions and usual behaviors you must try to control. For instance, it's good to regularly check on your partner. Still, when it becomes too much (probably asking about where they are and what they are doing), it may be interpreted as insecurity, resulting in conflict.
  • Becoming More Mindful

    Practicing mindfulness can greatly be of help in managing relationship anxiety. Mindfulness will help you focus on becoming aware of the things going on in the present moment without judging yourself or your partner. This can help deal with every negative thought and to plan your daily engagements with your partner.
  • Try To Maintain Your Identity

    Relationship anxiety may emerge when you begin to adjust your identity to suit your partner's comfort. Who you are is an essential part of why your partner fell in love with you in the first place, so your partner may see you as someone else if you change your personality.
  • Seek The Help Of A Therapist

    Relationship anxiety may be difficult to properly manage on your own sometimes. Talking to a licensed therapist can pave a clear road to cope with your situation. You may seek help for yourself or when you're dating someone with an anxiety disorder.


You can reduce the symptoms of your anxiety and become calmer, less worried, and less tense. But the first step is to determine how severe your anxiety is. You can take an anxiety test online in just a few minutes and get an immediate answer to this question.