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Spotting Borderline Personality Disorder Symptoms

Reviewed by Whitney White, MS CMHC, NCC., LPC · October 26, 2020 ·

What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental illness characterized by unstable moods, fickle self-image, and rocky relationships. Individuals with BPD often have an intense fear of abandonment, which can wrench into interpersonal relationships and cause paralyzing feelings of anxiety, dread, anger, paranoia, or depression. Emotional dysregulation in people with BPD can be just as debilitating as it can cause intense mood swings and difficulties processing extreme emotions, leading to impulsivity and emotional outbursts. These BPD symptoms will vary depending on the person, and no experience with BPD is universal. Still, these general signs of borderline personality disorder may tip you off to the fact that you or someone you know is living with BPD.

BPD is somewhat expected as a mental health condition but is still frequently misunderstood. BPD can be more than manageable when addressed with the proper treatment, which may include different forms of therapy and sometimes medication. It is essential to seek guidance from licensed mental health professionals when seeking a diagnosis, treatment options, and advice from a medical doctor about medication.

Causes

As with any mental health disorder, there is no singular cause of BPD. For most individuals, the onset of BPD is likely caused by a combination of factors.

Environmental factors are considered a significant contributor to the onset of BPD. Early childhood experiences, especially ones involving caretakers or parents, seem to have the most incredible connection. Stressful childhoods involving physical, sexual, or emotional abuse for a child by a caretaker can develop behavioral or cognitive challenges that may result in BPD. However, BPD may not always come due to overt abuse or trauma -- constant invalidation or neglect from caregivers in childhood can also cause BPD. Abandonment and instability in early childhood can lead to problems like BPD.

It is also possible that genetics may play a role, though it’s not unlikely that this variable may be confounded due to environmental factors. Additionally, there is currently no evidence that there is a particular gene that causes or is linked to BPD.

BPD is most frequently diagnosed in adulthood -- though teens and children can indeed be diagnosed with it -- and its symptoms often reduce in severity over time as they age.

Complications

Borderline personality disorder can sometimes result in other complications that may affect you in multiple life arenas in life, such as:

  • Difficulties in the workplace, including job loss
  • Problems in the realm of education
  • Potential to be more likely to get into trouble due to impulsivity
  • Conflicts in relationships, platonic and romantic alike
  • The possibility of entering into abusive relationships

These risks can, again, be mitigated with the proper treatment, however. Specific talk therapies can help you unravel unhealthy habits and distorted thought patterns that may contribute to or worsen these factors.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

Though BPD can often be a frustrating disorder for individuals, it is more than manageable with the correct diagnosis, treatment, and care. If you’ve found yourself wondering, “do I have BPD?” it may be helpful to go over a borderline personality disorder checklist:

  • Persistent and recurring feelings of emptiness
  • Mood swings and emotional instability
  • Fear of abandonment and behaviors that display an effort to stave off abandonment
  • Impulsivity and impulsive behaviors, such as reckless spending, risky sex, physically dangerous activities, substance use
  • Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
  • Paranoia, especially relating to relationships
  • Dissociative episodes
  • Intense and unstable relationships
  • Black-and-white thinking (idealizing individuals or situations and then quickly demonizing them)
  • Confused self-identity that may change quickly
  • Intense anger that can be difficult to control

Conditions That May Be Confused With BPD

Unfortunately, treatment for BPD may be delayed by misdiagnosis. BPD is, in fact, one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions in the world, probably because a larger cluster of traits contributes to BPD rather than one specific behavior. Additionally, many mental illnesses have symptoms that seem identical to BPD from the outside but may have incredibly different nuances and causes. Some conditions that are commonly diagnosed in place of BPD include:

  • Bipolar disorder
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Depression
  • Psychosis

Furthermore, BPD may be comorbid (meaning co-occurring) with other mental health issues, which can further confuse the picture. These can include:

  • Bipolar disorder
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Depression
  • Substance use disorder
  • Other personality disorders
  • Eating disorders
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Sleep disorders

For this reason, it is essential that individuals who suspect they may be experiencing BPD seek out the opinion of a medical professional they trust. It may also be helpful to establish what other conditions you might be going through.

Identifying BPD in A Loved One

For many mental health conditions, it can be especially beneficial for a loved one who will help you to be dangerous of your daily life issues when seeking a diagnosis for the first time. We can all be blinded by our cognitive distortions and emotional reactions. Someone to help to ground us, offer a reasonable opinion, and even urge us to pursue treatment may be critical.

When looking to see if you can identify BPD symptoms in a loved one, being very familiar with the signs listed above can make you much more able to recognize them. Additionally, knowing one’s childhood or family history may help, though be wary -- a difficult childhood does not necessarily mean someone has BPD, and the reverse is also true.

Additionally, it is essential to identify how you have felt since BPD is a mental health disorder that revolves around relationships and their importance. Do you often feel as though you are walking on eggshells? Do little things seem to set your partner off? Do they have intense emotional mood swings you may have to tend to or mitigate? Do you feel your relationship may be unusually fierce for a long time? These are all essential questions to remember, as their answers may clue you into what BPD behaviors your partner may be exhibiting.

If you suspect your partner or loved one may have BPD, have an open conversation about it, but understand that the conversation may not go well. BPD can cause extreme feelings of sensitivity and aversion to criticism that may result in a significant reaction from them. Avoid conversing in the miduringor when your partner is not feeling particularly substantial. Remember to take care of yourself and try to und that your partner’s reactions result from a great deal of experience, not necessarily a result of a vindictive streak or an active attempt to hurt you. While this is not an excuse for negative behaviors, it is an explanation that can help you set healthy boundaries that allow for both patience and help avoid negative stressors in your relationship.

In a relationship with someone with BPD, they may sometimes idolize you; then other times tear you down. Regardless of any mental disorder behind the scenes, these behaviors are not healthy, and you are under no obligation to manage them. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and the other person is to get some distance. Online support groups are specifically for people in relationships or formerly in relationships with people with BPD. Seek out support for this very unique and sometimes damaging experience.

Treatment Options

BPD is best treated with long-term therapy, precisely various psychotherapeutic treatments. The best treatment for you will depend on your symptoms, personality, and more. Working with a licensed mental health professional can help you determine the treatment approach best suits you.

Conclusion

If you believe your loved one may be experiencing BPD, consider taking our screening test to identify the symptoms and expected behaviors. This test is not a diagnostic tool but can be a good starting point for conversing with a loved one or your medical or mental health provider about the next steps.

BPD may often be misunderstood, but with education, awareness, support, and treatment from licensed mental health professionals, it can be successfully managed.

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